A Five Year Old and a Speaker Phone

Ah to hear a child's voice through the phone can bring Grandmom and Grandpop such joy from afar.  Keep a child in touch with their father as he travels for business. Or ...

completely school his mother on speaker phone as she attempts to show a friend just how "sweet and kind" her son is. 

Yes, ladies and gentle men... I was that mother. 

During a particular stressful and sad week, I had spent a lot of time with a friend who had just lost their mother and I helped in support, a shoulder to lean on and kept a silent cry in my heart for my friend.  On one particular night, we were both working on a slide show CD to show at the viewing when I thought to myself; "I'm never going to get home in time to get Alex to bed".  I looked at my friend and I said "I am going to surprise him! I'm going to take him out of school tomorrow and have a 'Mommy N' Me Day' since I haven't seen him a whole lot these last few days".
I dial my cellphone; my father answers. I ask to speak to my son... as I wait, I turn to my friend and I say "wait until you see how excited he gets when I tell him". This is the conversation as I remember it:

Alex: Hi Mommy!
Me: Hi Alex, how are you?
Alex: Good.
Me: Well listen, I have a surprise for you.
Alex: A surprise? Are you serious?!
Me: *giggle* Yes a Surprise.... You know how you haven't really seen Mommy much lately?
Alex: Yes.
Me: And you are sad about that?
Alex: Yes.
Me: Mommy wants to make it up to you...
Alex: WHAT IS IT?
Me: Tomorrow, you won't be going to school, you'll be spending the day... with MOMMY with a "Mommy N'   Me Day"!
Alex:*whine* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I don't want a Mommy and Me Day! I want a Pop pop and Me Day!

(at this point, my friend is ROLLING with laughter at how easily this took me down and made my heart break. In the background, you could hear my Father saying "Alex don't say that, that's not nice")

Me: *trying so hard not to laugh* Alex, if you don't want a Mommy N' Me Day then I will send you to school.
Alex: YES! Send me to school!!

(Now my "friend" is about to bust a gut)

Alex: You know what Mommy?
Me: What?
Alex: Pop pops Awesome, Mom mom's Awesome, I'm Awesome ...*giggle* you're not awesome *laughter*

(again with the"friend" laughing their face off and my father AND mother now both saying in the background
"Alex! Don't say that to your mother!!)

Me: Awww, Alex... I think YOU'RE awesome.
Alex: Just kidding Mommy... I was just kidding *laughter*
Mommy: Sometimes you can hurt someones feelings even when you're just kidding. I love you.
Alex: I .. I love you too... I have to go now... I'm going to give you to Mom mom...

So you see, my lovelies... this little moment brought tears to my eyes; in BOTH ways! In all fairness, I knew from the beginning my son was playing with me; I could hear his smile through the phone. I will tell you this... my friend and I really had a good long laugh after that one. I hope you enjoyed my little moment when I shared my 5 year old with a speaker phone.