Adult Swim

When I was a little girl, I attended a swim club near my home where my mother worked.  It was part of a community club so there was all kinds of good memories from here.  My Dad teaching me how to swim without water wings, jumping off the diving board for the first time and pizza from their kitchen!  The only down draw to this particular club was that, every hour or so, they would make every kid get out of the pool so the "Adults" could "Swim".  It was called the "Adult Swim" and it was the meanest thing you could do to a kid on a hot, summer day when they've been swimming and then forced to shiver under their towels for a half hour as the Adult just stand in the water.  No, no NO Adult actually SWAM during this time.  My father would go in and I would sit on the side of the pool with my feet in the water.  He would do tricks and splash me and find ways to help me pass the time.  But this I just couldn't understand as a child.  I suppose now as an Adult myself, I would appreciate the opportunity to swim without the kids splashing, kicking and just being kids in the pool but I still kinda don't agree with it. 

There was one horribly hot day when I remember the Adult Swim was called and all the kids got out. I sat on the side, as usual, and in went Dad.  It seemed like FOREVER as I waited for them to blow the whistle to tell us we could go back in.  I remember playing with my Dad with my feet and I heard "the whistle".  Up I stood and in I jumped!  but when I came up and saw all the other kids jumping in too, the Adults were going FRANTIC trying to get out. Apparently, the whistle was NOT for us to go back in but to stop someone from doing something wrong.  I'm sorry, I'm a kid, I have NO track of time but it had only been 15 minuets into the Adult Swim and I had just single handily brought it to a premature end.  My Dad was laughing and embarrassed at the same time as I came up for air and he whispered to me "way to go, Lisa.  You got all these old girls swimming for their lives". 
I was the hero for the day after that! The most popular kid at the pool as all the kids were SO THANKFUL I put a stop to the ridiculous "Adult Swim", at least for the time being.  I didn't get into any trouble from the club managers. Seriously, it was a funny situation and an honest mistake by a jumpy kid. 

From that point forward, I always went back to my chair and laid out in the sun until the Adult Swim was over and left it up to someone else to jump in before it was over.  It was good to be leader for a day and totally embarrassing at the same time.

Before I Was A Mom

Before I was a Mom ,

I never tripped over toys

or forgot words to a lullaby.

The love of my life

I didn't worry whether or not

my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom ,

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.


Before I was a Mom ,

I never held down a screaming child

so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom ,

I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.!
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.


Before I was a Mom ,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond

between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small

could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom ,

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night

every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth,

the joy,

the love,

the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom .
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom .


Now I am a Mom and I love every moment of it.

Tears from a Photograph.

You know you really love someone, miss someone and value someone when a small picture of them can bring tears to your eyes. MomMom's, PopPop's, Mother's, Father's, Sister's and Brother, the one that got away, pets that brought us everlasting joy; all these people have a profound affect on our lives. Though they may never again touch your hand, swipe your hair, tell you they "love you", sit on your lap and purr or protect you from strangers, their love and companionship will never leave your heart. 





Don't fight the tears from the photographs when you feel them coming.  It's ok to hurt.  We're human and hurting is what we do best.  Let yourself feel your loss, even if it's been 30 years the last time you saw Grandpa yet you can hear his voice so clearly in you head.  He hasn't left you, he's there for you.  The one's that get away got away for a reason; mourn them and move on.  Easier said than done, trust me; I know, but it's better for you in the end to acknowledge your feelings and move on with being you; someone will find you. Get a picture frame engraved for your lost pets; "In Memory of...", put a piece of their favorite toy, lock of their hair if your lucky, or something special to them in the photo frame with their picture. 



a Mother mourns her youngest Daughter



 

We have many ways to preserve the memory of a lost loved one.  Even when friendships end, it can be pretty hard when it's all washed up and there is nothing left.  Say Good-bye to each other, never just leave. The pain you can cause someone when you do that is heartbreaking when no one understands or has closure.  It'll take a while for the wounds to heal, but time will heal things.  Could take a while.  A month, 6 months, a YEAR... who knows? But I do know that life has a way of filling the holes in our hearts that are seemingly left behind by those who have left us. 

Look forward to what is in your future and what could be.  I know I am.