Smile in the Night

My child is growing at a rapid pace.  I look at him as he goes out the door sometimes and think "where have the last six years of my life gone?"! So many difficult tasks he and I faced. A year alone, abandonment by those we loved most, a tragic accident and the dissolution of my marriage.... that's a lot to ask for a child to face.  And yet, he did so with kindness, forgiveness, love and courage.

His love and innocence is what keeps me grounded.  Through the eyes of a child, I can see the world in many different ways!  Yet when they sleep, I wonder what fantastic castles they're visiting, how many cities they're saving or just where we are going together.

At night, sometimes I find it difficult to sleep.  I lay awake and toss and turn.  Like many of us, thoughts of bills, responsibilities and other stressful things dance through our heads instead of sugar-plum fairies.  And when I do fall asleep, it is short slept.  I wake at 2 am, like an alarm in my head.  I have trained my body to do this since my child was a baby.  I'd wake to change his diaper (he's sleep right through it) and he'd wake up happy, bouncy and dry. 

Now-a-days, with no diaper to change, I venture into his room to catch a glimpse of my sleeping prince. I crawl into his bed and watch him sleep. Eyes closed, soft skin with his little mouth moving ever so slightly.  I sing to him.  Our song, "Have I Told You Lately"....just the beginning.  You'd think he wouldn't hear me and that singing to him would be for my benefit only yet I can tell you; he hears me.  He knows his mother is there.  And after I kiss his forehead to leave him to rest for the night, I catch a smile on his face. Ever so slightly, I touch his hand "I love you" and I tip-toe out of the room.

A small Smile in the Night; a Little Moment, that can be heard through sleeping ears will only comfort him more to know I'm not going anywhere.